Find Refreshment

Refreshment.

We all need it from time to time.

Refreshment literally means to make fresh again; to reinvigorate.

Still sound like a foreign idea? I am sure the ideas of exhaustion, frustration, and surrender don't sound quite as foreign. That's because we all experience those things, but our response should be to run to refreshment rather than to burnout.

We all have different methods of finding refreshment. Some need a mani/pedi with a friend. Others need a hike in solitude. It varies from person to person. But can I tell you something? You will not find refreshment in mentally rehashing all of the overwhelming factors in your life. You will not find resolve in letting your thoughts of weariness consume you. That, my friend, is the fast track to burnout, and honestly, to defeat.

The Little Things

picture source

Nothing seems good enough anymore. 

So much planning and preparing goes into nice gestures these days that we hardly ever do them due to the complications that are involved. I have often found myself in the struggle to amp up the shock factor in gifts, surprises, and even simple acts of kindness. It's not even good enough to get down on one knee and ask someone to marry you anymore. It has to be on the beach (Even if you live landlocked... you better get to a beach!), with a fancy, vintage, picnic complete with lighting and a videographer and photographer to catch every heart-felt word spoken, every tear shed, and every tender embrace. Yeah, I bet every guy who decided to pop the question with the idea getting down on one knee would be a grand enough stance feels pretty lousy these days. Welcome to the year 2015. We have furniture in fields and stuff. Where else would you put your living room furniture?

I don't deserve this.

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, I don't deserve this? 

There are two reasons one might have this thought. Either they feel they are deserving of more or they feel they are unworthy of what they have been given. Here are two people who are at opposing sides of this sentiment:

Person #1: Judas
I won't go into all of the details assuming you know a little bit of the man I am referring to. He was one of the 12 disciples. He walked with Jesus. He learned from Jesus. He did life with Jesus. But he was left with the thought I don't deserve this... I deserve more! 

When the Opportunity Arises...

For those who don't know Kyrie Coffee is a coffee company that I started just under a year ago. It is a mobile coffee shop for different events and venues, but also sells bags of coffee online. I started this coffee company for the purpose of impacting the world both locally and globally. This company is intended to contribute to non-profits, missions, and other efforts to make an impact. Along with brewing up some caffeinated goodness I post on the Kyrie blog weekly. On the blog we focus on inspiring good, motivating change, and changing the norm. I wanted to share with you a post that I recently shared on the Kyrie blog. I believe it will inspire you to do good even in the seemingly small, everyday things.

When the clouds roll in

My view has changed. A view that only moments ago was a blue sky with bright sun rays breaking through, with birds squawking as they zoom overhead, and people laughing as the boisterous waves crash upon the shore. That view is now diminished by the rains that pour down as I look on beneath a beachside shelter, shared with others eagerly escaping the miniature tropical storm. The rains act like they don't want to cease, but I sit waiting in anticipation of the sun reappearing through the dark and stormy clouds. This sudden and unwelcome change reminds me how quickly our circumstances can change. 

Part of me wants to be disappointed. This was the one outing that I insisted on, going to the beach. Part of me wants to be frustrated. I just made an hour long car trip to make it here just in time for the storm clouds to roll in. Part of me wants to be discouraged and go home. But what if the sun breaks through again just enough for me to go leaping into the salty waves? I want to hold our for that chance. After all, how quickly circumstances can change! 

Fight with Courage

Monday I shared on the Kyrie Coffee blog about starting with the ordinary. Check it out here.

People have referred to life as many different things. A journey, a process, a ride, a roller coaster, a course. So many different ways to try and adequately describe the ever-changing but constant thing we call life. It is full of so many different experiences that leave us with all kinds of impressions, which explains all of the different sentiments we are left with. Nevertheless, life is a journey. It is a process and a wild ride, often resembling that of a roller coaster. And it is definitely a course, one that we either pass or fail.

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny...

C.S. Lewis 

Get Dirty

I was recently reminded of how messy life can be... and when I say recently I mean within the last week. I also came to the realization that I have gotten out of the practice of being inconvenienced for others' sake. We can grow accustomed to the idea of doing what is convenient for ourselves. Now that doesn't mean we only do what we want to do, but it means even in the tasks that are "work" we take the most convenient path for ourselves. I feel that I am still a person who serves others. I try to help friends and family even when I don't feel like it, but most times that doesn't really inconvenience me. It just adds something extra for me to do. So when an incident arose that completely and utterly inconvenienced me I realized I needed an attitude adjustment.

Do it for Jesus

The other day I shared on something that I have been trying to live out, "Doing it for Jesus." You can read that post here. When we see all of our efforts as work for God it takes the weariness out and it takes the bad attitude out of our heart. So today I am going on with that thought and sharing some reasons we should change our mindsets and let it revolutionize the way we see work.

First of all, do it for Jesus because His opinion matters. 

Revolutionary.

There are things that none of us want to do. But we have to.

There are things that we are asked to do and don't want to. But we have to.

There has been a huge movement towards the lifestyle of "being your own boss." I love small business. I love to support small businesses. They are the symbol of freedom and chasing down dreams. But the reality is, whether you work for yourself or for someone else, there will be things  you have to do even if you don't want to do them.

Never, never, never...

I think we (modern society) over-glorify the idea of starting things. We encourage each other to do what's hard, do what is a little scary, to take risks, and to be brave. Which we should, because stepping out into the new and the unknown is difficult. It really is. However, I would propose today that sticking with something that you have already started in your life is much, much more difficult.

Live Full

You can truly learn something from just about anyone and anywhere. I say that to elude to a short video I recently watched that challenged in such a good way. I was watching a short interview of a recording artist who was giving the back story for one of her new projects. In this interview the artist talked about something she had been inspired to do to keep her life focused and strong. She made a list of things that she had to have in her life to function fully. Things that were essential to keeping her spiritually, emotionally, and physically strong. This list included many things most people would agree are essential, things like time with the Lord, time with her family, and time with uplifting people. I think we would all agree those are important things, so we should certainly be intentional about planning them into our lives.

I decided to use her concept for myself. So I too made a list of things that I have to have in my life. I put down the essentials, but then I took time to take inventory. I thought about activities that may not be essential, but they refresh me; to put it simply, they make me happier. You know, I think just as we need to be intentional about the essentials in our life, we need to be intentional about making time for things that refresh us, things that keep us inspired, and renew joy in our hearts for life.

So I reflected. I took inventory. What are things essential to keeping me strong spiritually, emotionally, and physically? What things make me 100%? Personally, I made two lists. One was for things I needed in my daily routine and the other for the things I need in my weekly routine. Yes the essentials are in there, but I realized I need to make time for the fun stuff, for the stuff that will keep me inspired. I needed some hobbies and adventures in there! So I made ANOTHER list (and all the type A personalities said "Duh, what else would you do??"). In this list I complied things that I currently do or have done that I really enjoy. Things like graphic design, painting, coffee tasting, writing, hiking, concerts/events. Then I added things that I would like try. For which I included knitting/crocheting, handwriting classes, kickboxing class, painting class, learn a foreign language. Silly, unnecessary things, but all things that help me try new things and stay inspired so I can always be at 100%.

What are some things you currently do to keep you inspired and keep you at 100%? 

God is Able

A few months back I shared a deeply intimate post that I wrote the morning after my uncle passed away (You can read that here). The post was raw emotion. I had to stop between phrases and release the tears that were filling my eyes as I wrote. It was filled with honest heartache. There were so many pictures in my mind characterizing my uncle, I wanted to describe them perfectly so they could never fade or diminish. To me it was one of the most real posts I have written. Here is a little exert I would like to revisit today:

A familiar voice comes over the phone with news and a call to prayer. So we do. We pray. After all, God created us so He can fix us. Faith united. Faith multiplied. He is able.

He is able. 

You know that has been a common sentence in my personal communication. God is able. It is something I say not only as encouragement to others, but I even say it in prayer, "God, You are able..." as if I am reminding Him. God doesn't need reminding, but I sure do. 

I remember my prayers that night after hearing that my uncle was in need of a miracle. I remember praying with a kind of boldness, "God, You are able. It isn't even hard for you. Do a miracle..." But then I questioned in my mind, "But will He?" I say I questioned in my mind because my lips would not let me utter those doubtful words. However after experiencing how different God seems to work things out compared to the way I would work them out, it causes me to question, "But will He?"

My uncle did pass away. I prayed, many people prayed, for a miracle, why? Because God is able. But still, the miracle was not the one we had expected, and to be honest it wasn't the miracle we had hoped for. But I know it was the miracle my uncle Bill's soul hoped for, and even longed for. The prayer I was praying wasn't answered in the way I had imagined it should be, but guess what.... God is still able.

Can I encourage you today? No matter what you are facing today, God is able. The prayers you have been praying, God hears them loud and clear and is more than able to answer them. The difficult situation that doesn't seem to have an escape plan, God is able to bring you out of. Whatever you have need of, whatever situation you find yourself in God is able. Remind yourself of that. As someone recently encouraged me, "Ask again. Trust again." 

He is able. Just ask. Just trust.

Again and again and again.

Go deep little Mermaid

     I would not claim to be a fearful person. I have no fear of trouble or threat or danger or uncertainty. I try not to at least. Why? Because God is a God that cancels out fear. He expels it. There is no reason to fear, because He is with me. However there is one thing that causes a need for a cautious and careful fear.

     Shallow living is one thing to fear, not in a terrorizing way, but in a conscious alertness. Shallow living lacks substance. It lacks purpose. It lacks vision. As you may have read in the book of Proverbs, "Where there is no vision people perish." People may not perish in the physical sense, but they do perish in a spiritual sense when empty of vision. When something stops growing it may stay the same size and maturity, but when the development stops progressing it is actually digressing. When you stop growing spiritually you are actually dying. Like age, it may take time, but nevertheless you are in fact wasting away. 

    I will not say I am much of a gardener, but I do know a thing or two about the subject. Most plants you purchase will come with instructions on how to obtain the best results with the plant. It tells you how much sun, how much water, and how much soil the plant needs. Some plants do better in full light, some do better with only a few hours of sunlight. Some need consistent watering, others need large amounts once a day. Now if you find that your plant can be planted in shallow soil, you can be sure the plant is not going to get very big. It may be a smaller flower or supplemental plant. If you were to try and plant a hedge in shallow soil you will not get very good results. If you were to try to plant a tree in shallow soil, you definitely will not get the results you want. Why? Because to have large plants they need deep roots. They need room to grow. They need depth.

    You can translate this information to people. If people are planting themselves in shallow living they ought not expect great growth and maturity. To grow, develop, and flourish depth is needed. I encourage you, and challenge you, do not be satisfied with comfortable, shallow living. Go deep. Deep living is challenging, it requires going deep in the dark, unknown places, but it produces amazing discoveries. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the ocean overs 71% of the Earth's surface and contains 97% of the planet's water, yet more than 95% of the underwater world remains unexplored. We don't even have a good idea of what lies in the deep.

Go deep and discover the great mysteries

lurking in the unknown depths of your soul.

Living for Applause

I think it is a common desire to be noticed. Everyone wants to be recognized for what they are doing especially when it comes to their work. Regardless of where you are working, for a big company or for your family, you want your work to be noticed, appreciated, and commended. It's normal! However, it is something we can't get hung up on.

A few years back I decided to start a new tradition with some of the leaders who work with me. I know what it's like being a volunteer leader. You feel like you are working hard on top of all of your other responsibilities and trying to not get burned out in the process. It just feels nice to be reminded that what you are doing matters. So I always try to be that reminder. But I decided that it was worth the investment in these leaders to treat them to a little getaway. A short retreat that would refresh and inspire them to be who God created them to be. Way worth the investment! Inspired leaders will inspire others every time. 

I pitched it to them and they seemed excited. They seemed to anxious and excited to get away even just for a night. Yes. Success!

So the weekend rolls around and spirits were up. Most of them had never been on a leadership retreat of any kind so it was a new experience for them. As much as that worked in our favor, it worked against us as well. I felt like some did not get the picture of what to expect for the weekend, so they imagined more of a vacation rather than a retreat. Others just seemed to be a little too go with the flow if you know what I mean (they are so flexible it seems like they couldn't care less). With these two dynamics, some appearing to be frustrated we weren't going to see the sights and others just content to sit around, I have to admit I was disappointed. And if you want another reason to write me off as a baby, no one seemed appreciative. Not one person said, "Oh my goodness, thank you Dalayna for putting this together for us," or, "Wow, it was so nice to be treated to this weekend. Thank you planning this... and getting our speaker... and our dinner... and our activities. I really enjoyed this!" Nope, nothing like that. Not a word of thanks. Nothing.

While I am sure they did enjoy themselves, I was the immature one waiting for them to say so. Sure it is fitting for them to say thank you, but my point is I should not have been waiting for their recognition for all my hard work. Giving that gift to them should have been enough for me. You see we shouldn't be living and working for anyone's pat on the back. We should be doing what we believe in. We should be working for what we believe in. People will always disappoint us. We will always feel under-appreciated at times, but as long as we are working for a purpose we won't be disappointed with ourselves. I can recover from someone being let down, but if I let myself down that is a true tragedy. 

I encourage you to live and work and fight for what you believe in. Live with a purpose. Not for the purpose of pleasing and impressing others, but to please and impress God. The bible tells us that God sees what we do in secret and rewards us openly. You see, God's approval is the only one we need. When He applauds you everyone hears it.

Wings to Fly

I had a great misconception as a child.

In my young mind I equated age with strength, with ability, with freedom. I remember many times feeling limited by my age. I felt like there was so much I wanted to do, and even felt convicted to do, but was unable to because of my age. I felt limited mostly by people. I cared deeply, not about what people would say, but about what people would think. I had this nasty voice in my head that translated everyone's thoughts. That voice would tell me, "Well that person doesn't really believe in me. They don't think I can accomplish this because I am too young. They are probably laughing at me on the inside." I even remember my little voice calling out to God, many times with tears running down my cheeks, asking him, "God I feel like I can't do anything. I am just a kid. No one will take me seriously. Why would you want me to do this if I am too young to do it?" 

I specifically remember one instance that at first discouraged me, but then gave me wings.

It happened at a church service at my home church when I was around the age of 7 or 8. It was during the prayer time at the conclusion of service. The Lord was moving and many people were gathering around the altars praying for one another. I remember crying. The Lord was working in my little heart. I followed the people around me as we gathered around and prayed over one man in particular who was seeking the Lord. We surrounded him with our love and with our prayers. I was in the front of the prayer circle, with my hand extended to the desperate man. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at another man who gently guided me away from the prayer circle as he said, "You need to move out of the way."

I was confused and I was crushed.

I continued to pray and cry, although I am not sure if they were tears of worship or tears of hurt.

The prayer time continued. I stood on the side, against the wall. After some time had past the man who had pushed me aside pulled me in. He sat on the alter so to be on my level and he dropped his head. He said, "Dalayna, I need to apologize to you. I told you to move and stop praying for that man because I didn't believe you were truly praying. But then God convicted me and told me I was wrong. He told me I should not have pushed you aside because He was using you. I was wrong... and I am sorry." 

I accepted his apology.

I couldn't help but feel some sort of satisfaction. I always felt pushed aside because of my age, because I was "just a kid," but in that moment I felt like the most qualified person in the room. God had stood up for me. God had defended me. God had qualified me. In that moment I knew that I was not "just a kid" to God, I was HIS kid. If I was willing, no matter what anyone else thought, He would use me.

In all honesty, that nasty voice that spoke to me as a child as returned time and time again as an adult. After I graduated from college it would tell me all the time about the people who didn't take me seriously because I was only 22, because I am female, because I am single, and on and on it would chatter. But I have had to learn again that if I remain willing God qualifies, God justifies, God fills in the places where I am not enough, and He gets the glory from my life.

Never let anyone disqualify you. Never let anyone discourage you.

No matter where you are lacking, God can use you. 

Who's Your Crew?

I am pretty sure we have all heard the expression

Show me your friends and I will show you your future.

It is a pretty powerful statement. To think that the people we surround ourselves with directly determines our future, whether that contains failure or success, makes you think twice about who you consider your friends. While I am a firm believer that we alone are responsible for our actions and our choices, there is definitely something to be said about the influences that surround us. You see that's what people are, influences. They aren't just voices, they are actually voices of influence. Whether we agree with them or not their influence is real. Who we spend time with matters.

I want to highlight a few things to consider when choosing who you surround yourself with.

First of all, surround yourself with people who challenge you.

Find people who are further along in the journey of life and experience than you are, and get close to them. You will learn from their mistakes and their successes. Too many times we choose to surround ourselves with people who are in the same place in life as we are, or even people who are a little behind us. If we are honest with ourselves, I think we would admit some times we do that because it is easier. People in the same rut as we are aren't going to challenge us or push us. People who are a little behind us in life and experience will make us feel good about how far we are, rather than show us how far we have left to go. Let's find some humility and allow people to challenge us, because that will actually be making us better and stronger.

Secondly, surround yourself with people who encourage you.

There are lots of people who will tell you why something won't work. Now, you don't need a bunch of "yes man" type of people who will agree with everything you say, but you do need people who will look for open doors with us rather than pointing out all of the closed ones. You need people who will admit they don't have the answer either, but are going to stick it out and help you find the solution. There will be times you need someone to keep you grounded and slap some sense into you, but people who are encouraging will be the voices you actually want to listen to when that time comes.

Finally, surround yourself with people know the worst about you, but still recognizes the best.

Sometimes it is hard to imagine that there could be such a person. A person you can trust with the darkest moments. Those moments are hard to share. You can handle that information, but to let someone else in on them is really difficult. It is difficult because you think those things will alter the way people see you. But the individual who sees you in the darkest moments and still sees the greatness in you, even when you don't see it in yourself, that is the voice of influence you want to hold onto. That is the influence that will sustain you and take your further than you could ever hope to go alone.

I encourage you to find those people. There probably won't be many of them, but it is quality over quantity. When you find those few people, hold onto them. Hold onto them even when you feel they are challenging you too much. Hold onto them when you need that encouragement. And hold onto them in your dark moments. They will be the voices speaking life to the greatness inside of you until you can see it again.

<< Here's the Point >>

Have you ever thought about how pointless life can seem at times. Don't write me off as a cynical, negative, person. I am not the only person who has thought about this.

Lamentations 1:2-4; 9-11

"Everything is meaningless," says the Teacher, "completely meaningless!"

What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth never changes."

"History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. Sometimes people say, "Here is something new!" But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new. We don't remember what happened in the past, and in future generations, no one will remember what we are doing now."

This is not the life we were truly made for. We were made for heaven. We are here on earth in preparation for what is to come in heaven. What a relief!

Life on earth is like high school. I remember seniors checking out their last year because it all just seemed so pointless. They may show up to class, but even if they get themselves in their seat, they might as well have stayed home. They would only go through the motions so they could graduate. It seems to me that some people may feel that way about life. They go through the motions, making it through each day, in the hopes that the next day will be graduation day; they hope it will bring something new, something better.

It is sad to think, but truly there are people who live each day trying to get to the next. Now that truly is a pointless life! They live hoping something better comes along, rather than building a life that they don't want to escape from. Yes, there are situations we can't really escape in our life, but with God's help, we can build a life that we truly love. That doesn't mean we won't be disappointed in life at times, it just means that when we do experience disappointment we can persevere knowing what a wonderful life there is left to be lived.

Don't go through the motions. Live your life completely. Live it well. Let it prepare and perfect you in every way possible before we leave this life and enter another.

One way I would encourage you to do this is simply to break out of your "normal." In other words, do something that you wouldn't normally do. Experience something you have never experienced before. Don't get bored with your life, spice it up! Make your life more interesting for yourself  by trying to do something that you wouldn't normally do every week. Notice I said for yourself. Living life for someone else is never truly living. It could be as simple as trying Indian food for the first time, or going to a museum even if you thought you hated museums. Do something different. Live a different kind of life. Don't go through the motions of life. As you have read on many a wooden word art, love the life you live.

The Saturday Post

I don't usually post on the weekends, but I wanted to share this short reminder with you this Saturday:

God is not confined to the greatly gifted and exceptionally cleaver for the fulfillment of His purposes. All through history God has chosen and used the "nothing specials" because their unusual dependence on Him left room for the unique display of His power. When we are content to be nothing, He can be everything. God will not use us in spite of our weakness and inadequacy, but actually because of them.

Whatever you have been doubting yourself on, don't.

Whatever you haven't tried because you didn't think you could, do it.

Whatever dream God has placed on your heart that seemed too big, it's not.

Just be content with being nothing and let God be everything. 

| 1 Corinthians 1:25-31 |

A Thank You Note to Taylor Swift

Disclaimer: If you are not a Taylor Swift fan bear with me through this post because it applies to all us ladies.

 I mean, I guess we can still be friends, but Taylor is pretty awesome & you should like her. (hehe)

So if you are a TSwift you were probably as excited as I was this Monday when the long anticipated music video for her song Bad Blood was released (It was first released on television Sunday night but hit the internet on Monday). The Swifter had been giving us little teasers for a while introducing the different characters making appearances in her music video. It built anticipation. It started conversations. It got  our attention.

I watched it.

I loved it.

It. was. wonderful... in an unexpected way.

Of course I knew what the song was about. I have listened to it, head banged to it, sang it way too loud, I got it. But when I saw the music video I loved it even more. Now don't make fun... I will explain why, but if I am honest I would have to admit that yes, I teared up. (I said don't laugh... that includes smirking)

Where did these tears come from? I will tell you. I am not promoting any kind of drama, but many times people associate drama with girls- and I will leave that there so I don't get off on a ranting session on that topic. Regardless of what causes "bad blood," we all have those experiences. We have situations that make us uncomfortable, feel unsafe, create lasting tension. We can all relate to the feeling that the world... or our world... is against us. It can feel like a fight. But what a relief when we have women who we know are on our team. Friends, family, mentors, role models who come to not just stand on the sidelines and cheer us on, but actually fight with us. We all need encouragement, but we also need people to fight through things with us. There are just some things that we can't defeat alone.

In the video you see all of that played out. You see young girls who are friends, but also women who are seasoned with experience come and fight along side Taylor. It just created for me the perfect picture of life and of what womanhood should look like. We have friends to defend us. To come rescue us in a room, full of people, where we feel so out of place. We have family who love us in a dangerous way. We have mentors who don't give up on us even when we want to give up. We have role models who inspire us along the way.

That is where the tears came from. They came from the beautiful idea that women fight with each other. We fight for each other. There are people on your team. So fight on! 

Thanks Taylor, for the reminder.

Watch Bad Blood here >>>



And let me know what you think here >>>

This is Life

Life is beautiful. An amazing adventure given in moments to appreciate, savor, and love. In hearts surrendered to God life becomes a glorious unveiling of grace. Glimpses of the miraculous... days filled with goodness... seasons of quiet reflection and growth. This is a gift, this life we live, from the One who makes it all it's meant to be- and the absolute best it can be. (Taken from inspiration of the Mary & Martha Tree of Life bracelet)

I think we can often get disinterested and discouraged by "life." We get tired of the daily routines that are always the same, of the responsibilities that never go away, of all the work that never gets done. 

Is this really life?

I hate to disappoint you but yes, that is life. Or rather, that is a part of life. You see, I believe life is all determined by what you fill it with. It will have the routines, responsibilities, and the work, but put something else in there too. If life is what we choose to put in it, throw in some joy and love. Throw in some unexpected adventure. Hold it up with some authentic, deep, friendships. Add some dancing, some laughing, some quiet moments gazing at the sunset. Add it in! The beauty of your life is truly all up to you.

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.

Psalm 16:11

// THIS IS LIFE (some shots of my weekend)

Follow me on Instagram: @dalaynalanee

WHAT IS LIFE TO YOU?